Joke
A girl was with her
father when she
saw her boyfriend
coming
GIRL: Have you come
to collect your book
titled "DADDY IS AT
HOME?" by Ngozi
Okafor
BOY: No, I want that
your hymn book
called "WHERE
SHOULD I WAIT FOR
YOU?"
GIRL: I don't have
that one but maybe
you should take
the other one titled
"UNDER THE MANGO
TREE" by
Chimamanda Adichie
BOY: Fine, but don't
forget to bring "I
WILL CALL YOU IN 5
MINUTES" while
coming to school
GIRL: I will also bring
you a new one too
titled"I WON'T LET
YOU DOWN" by
Chinua Achebe
Then;
DAD: Those books
are too many, will
he read them all
GIRL: Yes dad, he is
very smart &
intelligent
DAD: Okay don't
forget to give him
the one on the table
titled "I AM NOT
STUPID, I
UNDERSTOOD
EVERYTHING YOU'VE
BEEN SAYING" by
Shakespeare! And
also the one on the
dinning table titled
"IF YOU GET
PREGNANT PREPARE
TO GET MARRIED"
by Wole Soyinka
Hahahaha..... come on
don't leave it there
pass it on because
you never know
who needed just a
smile.
Monday, July 3, 2017
Sunday, July 2, 2017
MIND TEASER
MIND TEASER!
Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a Merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of Money to the Moneylender. 
💰
💰
The moneylender, who was Old and Ugly, fancied the merchant’s Beautiful Daughter 
👱♀so he proposed a bargain.
👱♀so he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. 
⚫
⚪
⚫⚪
The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag.
If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.
If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.
But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.
If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.
But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden.
As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles.
As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag.
As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles.
As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag.
He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.
What would you have done if you were the girl?
If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment
ANSWER TOMORROW
CHEAP HOUSES FOR REGISTERED LAGOS RESIDENTS
AMBODE TURNS TENANTS INTO LANDLORDS WITH LASG ‘RENT TO OWN’ SCHEME
The State’s Commissioner for Housing, Prince Gbolahan Lawal, has unveiled the Rent-To-Own and Rental Housing Policies of Governor Akinwunmi Ambode’s administration. The Rent-to-own policy targets the low and medium income earners in both the formal and informal sectors. Under this arrangement, individuals are required to pay 5 per cent of the value of the housing unit as commitment fee and the balance is spread over 10 years. The programme allows the tenant to live on the property while paying towards ownership as a fixed rent within the period of ten years. “
There are eligibility criteria to be met though. Applicants must be primarily resident in Lagos State and will be required to submit a copy of their Lagos State Residents Registration Card., must be a First Time Buyer, over 21 years of age, tax compliant and 33% of his/her earnings must cover the monthly rental payments.
12 Housing Estates have been dedicated for this `Scheme and they cover all parts of the Lagos Metropolis, from Lekki, Surulere, Ikorodu, Alimishosho etc (see list of estates and payment plans below). There are also different units to suit every pocket. There is the room and parlour apartment at Sir Michael Otedola Estate, Epe as well as several 1 bedroom, 2 bedroom and 3 bedroom units.
Procedure is for an applicant is to obtain Forms from Lagos State Mortgage Board (see contacts box for address) or Ministry of Housing Block 3 Alausa Secretariat or download the forms at www.lagoshoms.gov.ng. Payment of N10,000 should be paid to First Bank of Nigeria Plc Account number 2023834576. The completed form as well as the payment receipt and all supporting documents should be submitted in person at the Lagos State Mortgage Board office or online.
Contacts
LMB
LBIC Building (Ground Floor)
Plot 1. ASSBIFI Road, Central Business District,
Alausa, Ikeja, Lagos.
Phone: 07044519311
08124817363
E-mail: info@lagoshoms.gov.ng
www.lagoshoms.gov.ng
AVAILABLE PROPERTIES UNDER THE SCHEME
1. SIR MICHAEL OTEDOLA ESTATE, EPE
a. Room/Parlour Unit Price: N1.5m. 5% down payment N75k Monthly rent: N15,820
b. 1 bedroom Price: N2m 5% Down Payment N100k. Monthly rent: N21,093.90
c. 2 bedroom. Price: N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
2. CHOIS, AGBOWA
a. 2 bedroom. Price N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
b. 3 bedroom. Price N5m; 5% down payment N250k; Montly rent N52,734.74
3. ONDO ONOSA, AGBOWA
a. 1 bedroom Price: N2m 5% Down Payment N100k. Monthly rent: N21,093.90
b. 2 bedroom. Price: N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
c. 3 bedroom. Price N5m; 5% down payment N250k; Montly rent N52,734.74
4. ALH. ADETOUN MUSTAPHA SCHEME, OJOKORO
3 bedroom Price N9m. 5% down payment N450k; Monthly rent N94,922.53
5. HON OLAITAN MUSTAPHA SCHEME, OJOKORO
3 bedroom Price N9m. 5% down payment N450k; Monthly rent N94,922.53
6. EGAN
a. 2 bedroom type 1 Price N3.2m 5% Down Payment N160,000 Monthly rent N33,750.23
b. 2 bedroom type 2 N3.5m 5% Down Payment N175k.; Monthly rent N36,914.32
c. 2 bedroom Type 3 N5.5m 5% Down Payment N275k.;Monthly Rent N58,008.21
d. 3 bedroom Price N7.5m; 5% Down Payment N375k; Monthly Rent N79,102.11
7. IGANDO GARDENS, IGANDO
a. 1 bedroom. Price N5m; 5% down payment N250k; Monthly rent N52,734.74
b. 2 Bedroom. Price N6.5m; 5% Down Payment N325k Monthly rent N68,555.16
c. 3 bedroom. Price N10m; 5% Down Payment N500k. Monthly rent N105,469.48
8. OBA ADEGBORUWA ESTATE, IGBOGBO
a. 1 bedroom. Price N3m; Down Payment N150k; Monthly Rent N31,640.84
b. 2 bedroom. Price N4.8m; Down Payment N240,000; Monthly rent N50,625.35
9. IGBOGBO IIB
a. 1 bedroom N3.5m 5% Down Payment N175k.; Monthly rent N36,914.32
b. 2 bedroom Price N5.5m; 5% Down Payment N275k.; Monthly Rent N58,008.21
c 3 bedroom. Price: N8m. 5% Down Payment N400k; Monthly rent N84,375.58
10 IPONRI SCHEME, IPONRI
a. 2 bedroom Price N20m; 5% Down payment N1m; Monthly Rent N210,938.85
b. 3 bedroom Price N25m; 5% Down Payment N1.250m; Monthly Rent N263,673.69
11. SANGOTEDO SCHEME
a. 1 bedroom. Price N7m. 5% Down Payment N350k Monthly Rent N73,828.63
b. 2 bedroom. Price N10m; 5% Down Payment N500k. Monthly rent N105,469.48
c. 3 bedroom. Price N15m. 5% Down Payment N750k. Monthly Rent N158,204.22
12. AJARA, BADAGRY
a. 1 bedroom Price: N2m 5% Down Payment N100k. Monthly rent: N21,093.90
b. 2 bedroom. Price: N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
c. 3 BEDROOM. PRICE N6M 5% Down Payment N300k; Monthly Rent N....................forwarded
The State’s Commissioner for Housing, Prince Gbolahan Lawal, has unveiled the Rent-To-Own and Rental Housing Policies of Governor Akinwunmi Ambode’s administration. The Rent-to-own policy targets the low and medium income earners in both the formal and informal sectors. Under this arrangement, individuals are required to pay 5 per cent of the value of the housing unit as commitment fee and the balance is spread over 10 years. The programme allows the tenant to live on the property while paying towards ownership as a fixed rent within the period of ten years. “
There are eligibility criteria to be met though. Applicants must be primarily resident in Lagos State and will be required to submit a copy of their Lagos State Residents Registration Card., must be a First Time Buyer, over 21 years of age, tax compliant and 33% of his/her earnings must cover the monthly rental payments.
12 Housing Estates have been dedicated for this `Scheme and they cover all parts of the Lagos Metropolis, from Lekki, Surulere, Ikorodu, Alimishosho etc (see list of estates and payment plans below). There are also different units to suit every pocket. There is the room and parlour apartment at Sir Michael Otedola Estate, Epe as well as several 1 bedroom, 2 bedroom and 3 bedroom units.
Procedure is for an applicant is to obtain Forms from Lagos State Mortgage Board (see contacts box for address) or Ministry of Housing Block 3 Alausa Secretariat or download the forms at www.lagoshoms.gov.ng. Payment of N10,000 should be paid to First Bank of Nigeria Plc Account number 2023834576. The completed form as well as the payment receipt and all supporting documents should be submitted in person at the Lagos State Mortgage Board office or online.
Contacts
LMB
LBIC Building (Ground Floor)
Plot 1. ASSBIFI Road, Central Business District,
Alausa, Ikeja, Lagos.
Phone: 07044519311
08124817363
E-mail: info@lagoshoms.gov.ng
www.lagoshoms.gov.ng
AVAILABLE PROPERTIES UNDER THE SCHEME
1. SIR MICHAEL OTEDOLA ESTATE, EPE
a. Room/Parlour Unit Price: N1.5m. 5% down payment N75k Monthly rent: N15,820
b. 1 bedroom Price: N2m 5% Down Payment N100k. Monthly rent: N21,093.90
c. 2 bedroom. Price: N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
2. CHOIS, AGBOWA
a. 2 bedroom. Price N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
b. 3 bedroom. Price N5m; 5% down payment N250k; Montly rent N52,734.74
3. ONDO ONOSA, AGBOWA
a. 1 bedroom Price: N2m 5% Down Payment N100k. Monthly rent: N21,093.90
b. 2 bedroom. Price: N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
c. 3 bedroom. Price N5m; 5% down payment N250k; Montly rent N52,734.74
4. ALH. ADETOUN MUSTAPHA SCHEME, OJOKORO
3 bedroom Price N9m. 5% down payment N450k; Monthly rent N94,922.53
5. HON OLAITAN MUSTAPHA SCHEME, OJOKORO
3 bedroom Price N9m. 5% down payment N450k; Monthly rent N94,922.53
6. EGAN
a. 2 bedroom type 1 Price N3.2m 5% Down Payment N160,000 Monthly rent N33,750.23
b. 2 bedroom type 2 N3.5m 5% Down Payment N175k.; Monthly rent N36,914.32
c. 2 bedroom Type 3 N5.5m 5% Down Payment N275k.;Monthly Rent N58,008.21
d. 3 bedroom Price N7.5m; 5% Down Payment N375k; Monthly Rent N79,102.11
7. IGANDO GARDENS, IGANDO
a. 1 bedroom. Price N5m; 5% down payment N250k; Monthly rent N52,734.74
b. 2 Bedroom. Price N6.5m; 5% Down Payment N325k Monthly rent N68,555.16
c. 3 bedroom. Price N10m; 5% Down Payment N500k. Monthly rent N105,469.48
8. OBA ADEGBORUWA ESTATE, IGBOGBO
a. 1 bedroom. Price N3m; Down Payment N150k; Monthly Rent N31,640.84
b. 2 bedroom. Price N4.8m; Down Payment N240,000; Monthly rent N50,625.35
9. IGBOGBO IIB
a. 1 bedroom N3.5m 5% Down Payment N175k.; Monthly rent N36,914.32
b. 2 bedroom Price N5.5m; 5% Down Payment N275k.; Monthly Rent N58,008.21
c 3 bedroom. Price: N8m. 5% Down Payment N400k; Monthly rent N84,375.58
10 IPONRI SCHEME, IPONRI
a. 2 bedroom Price N20m; 5% Down payment N1m; Monthly Rent N210,938.85
b. 3 bedroom Price N25m; 5% Down Payment N1.250m; Monthly Rent N263,673.69
11. SANGOTEDO SCHEME
a. 1 bedroom. Price N7m. 5% Down Payment N350k Monthly Rent N73,828.63
b. 2 bedroom. Price N10m; 5% Down Payment N500k. Monthly rent N105,469.48
c. 3 bedroom. Price N15m. 5% Down Payment N750k. Monthly Rent N158,204.22
12. AJARA, BADAGRY
a. 1 bedroom Price: N2m 5% Down Payment N100k. Monthly rent: N21,093.90
b. 2 bedroom. Price: N3.5m; 5% down payment N175k; Monthly rent N36,914.32
c. 3 BEDROOM. PRICE N6M 5% Down Payment N300k; Monthly Rent N....................forwarded
Saturday, July 1, 2017
SARAKI VOWS TO MAKE 4 BILLION NAIRA FROM SAHARA REPORTER
The senate president of Nigeria is not a stranger to controversy and one thing about him is that he keeps on surving one crisis after another. His latest declaration may not sound plausible but this is Nigeria where anything is possible. Saraki has said that he will unleash all weapons within his arsenal to ensure that he recovers 4 Billion Naira damages awarded him by Ilorin based court of Law against American based Sahara reporters.
You may begin to wonder how he can flogg out 4 billion from Sahara Reporters. If in deed Sahara Reporters have up to 4 Billion will they not rather spend 1 Billion on 90 SANs than pay Saraki 4 Billion. If 90 SANs saved Saraki from code of conduct trinunal, with one billion Sahara Reporters can hire 150 SANs to appeal the judgement of Ilorin based court and finally acquit Sahara Reporters.
The good thing about this quarrel is that Senate president has already made a budget for the use of the 4 Billion. Part of it will be used to fund media houses that will not publish 'Fake News' to borrow a phrase from Donald Trump.
This fight does not resemble the proverbial fight between two elephants . It is more like a fight with someone that is not even
within your city and someone that does not care what you are doing.
I believe whatever the fight is about should be settled amicablly so that the law make can focus on making laws that will save Nigeria from a brewing crisis
You may begin to wonder how he can flogg out 4 billion from Sahara Reporters. If in deed Sahara Reporters have up to 4 Billion will they not rather spend 1 Billion on 90 SANs than pay Saraki 4 Billion. If 90 SANs saved Saraki from code of conduct trinunal, with one billion Sahara Reporters can hire 150 SANs to appeal the judgement of Ilorin based court and finally acquit Sahara Reporters.
The good thing about this quarrel is that Senate president has already made a budget for the use of the 4 Billion. Part of it will be used to fund media houses that will not publish 'Fake News' to borrow a phrase from Donald Trump.
This fight does not resemble the proverbial fight between two elephants . It is more like a fight with someone that is not even
within your city and someone that does not care what you are doing.
I believe whatever the fight is about should be settled amicablly so that the law make can focus on making laws that will save Nigeria from a brewing crisis
HOW A MOTHER KILLED HER CHILDREN IN ERROR
In countries like Mexico, moms like to prepare homecooked meals for their children and don’t like the idea of their kids eating canned food. However, things just don’t go as planned always, and the recent experience of an unfortunate Mexican mother confirms it.
Josefina, a mother of two, woke up early one day and went to the market to get some food for breakfast.
She decided to prepare a healthy breakfast for her children. little Agustin (8) and Maria (6), so they won’t have to eat junk food at school. She made some egg and ham tortillas with fresh orange juice and breakfast was ready to be served.
The children woke up and she sent them to the bathroom for a bath – she was following her grandmother’s strict rules – you can’t sit on the table to eat before at least washing your hands. Josefina was preparing the table when Maria came down and said: “Mama, Agustin hasn’t come out yet and I need to go to the bathroom.” “Agustin!” said Josefina, “quit playing in the bath and come out!” The little boy came out and his sister went into the bathroom. Her mother told her to hurry up so she can eat.
At the same time, Josefina got a text from her husband, and it took her a while to reply while Maria was in the bathroom. After finishing the text, Josefina called for Maria again. Her husband was still sending texts while Josefina was preparing the table, and she managed to answer all of them. They ate well and were ready for school at 7:45. They arrived on time and Josefina went back home, but not two hours later she received shocking news.
She got a text which said that her children are on the way to the hospital. She immediately froze and panicked – what happened? Everything was great a couple of hours before! She called her husband and they rushed to the hospital. Doctors told them that the children are in bad condition – they couldn’t control their fever which was probably caused by a bacterium known as salmonella. This type of bacterium is present in many foods, and was now destroying the children’s organs! Josefina was shocked – she couldn’t believe what was happening. She fainted and needed to be sedated, while her husband was praying to God for his family.
After some tests, the doctors concluded that the bacterium was in the breakfast Josefina prepared that morning. After talking to the doctors, they discovered that Josefina used her phone during the serving, which was probably the culprit. Our phones are coated in thousands of bacteria which can end up on our food and have fatal consequences!
This broke her soul – seeing your own children in such a bad condition is something no parent should experience. She was sitting near their bed and begging for forgiveness over and over again. At that moment, Maria’s hand opened and Josefina heard the flatline sound on the machine. Not a minute after, Agustin died as well. Josefina was crying and reaching out for her children, but they were gone. The doctors did anything they could, but they couldn’t save the children.
Now, Josefina is using her experience to warn everyone in the world – never use the phone while you’re preparing food. This can lead to infections that may have fatal consequences, as she learned not a long time ago.(THIS POST IS NOT FOR CONDOLENCE COMMENTS BUT A WARNING AND LESSON FOR ALL. )
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